She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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