I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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