I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
