Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i believe in u and ur pee
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
