Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize