Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize