We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize