Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
