it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
