I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
