Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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