Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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