Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
