she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
