bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
