Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
