We're like a lot better than the average bears
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
