Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
