AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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