i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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