he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
