Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize