We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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