im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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