Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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