I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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