It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
