i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
