Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
