How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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