i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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