the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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