She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
