Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
