Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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