just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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