My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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