Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
