I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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