His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
