I faked an abortion last night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
