I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize