youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
