Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
