Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
