and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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