I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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