Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
