Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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