Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
