Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
