New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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