But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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