His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
