Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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