You can't motorboat a personality
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
